It seems life, marriage and ministry became rather crazy over the holidays. Not in bad ways, just like one moment blended into the next and it was keep-moving-and-don't-fall-any-further-behind survival as opposed to ahead-of-the-power-curve-look-back-and-laugh thrival. Maybe you experienced something similar in your own homes and families and work places.
Suddenly (in my mind) it's not August 2022 anymore. For whatever reason, that's the month my brain defaults to as the calendar indicates we're living in February 2023. August 2022. At least it was warm and dry then. But planning ahead when one is mentally operating seven months behind does present some challenges. Keeping up is enough of an effort. Catching up is another thing.
So that's why I figured it was time for another Bird Blog. Simple, right? Step away from the computer and commitments for a few moments, put out bird food, birds show up, take pictures of our local feathered friends as they make themselves fat and happy and for me take that time to relax for a few minutes. Sit out back, enjoy being outdoors, praise the Lord for this crazy set of bird-loaded woods he planted behind the house he provided for us in North Carolina.
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Of course, if you heard me taking these photos...or not taking the photos I wanted to catch...it might not have seemed simple or relaxing. I can make a lot of noise when I miss a shot, or the camera won't focus, or the bird moves, or a Mocking Bird arrives to chase the other birds off or a mocking squirrel pokes their head up along our fence with a nose and hunger for BIRD FOOD.
Karen says I mumble out loud thinking no one else can hear me. I'm not sure, but my perfectionistic tendency is to blame (evidently out loud) the birds, the camera, the sun, the wind, my eyes, the season, the temperature, my chair, my arms, moving too quickly, not being ready, for everything that keeps my photographs from being PERFECT. EVERY SHOT. I think I'm that good. So obviously it can't be MY FAULT. Maybe that's the problem--everyone and everything else IS the problem. Anyway the bird photos might be much more relaxing looking at them than overhearing the photographer as he takes them.
Perfectionism is a scary thing (I've learned/am continuing to learn). A dangerous thing. A destructive way of life on multiple levels. And a perfectionist can't suffer from perfectionism because it's one of the spiritual gifts inferred in Galatians 5:22, right? At least it seems that way to the one inside the prison of victimhood created by the deep-seated knowledge that everyone else is wrong; everyone and everything else is the problem; and if everyone else would just think, act, live, respond, vote, and serve Christ like I do God's will would be done on earth as it is in heaven. To others, a perfectionist's "grace, love, compassion, empathy, and care," looks and feels a lot like judgement, punishment, persecution, condemnation, and death.
I see where I used to be on this journey. Many of you know who I was, how I behaved, how wrong and blind I was in my lashing out to personally make this world a better place. MY place with all costs placed on and charged to others. Ultimately, I had to be broken and put back together. Thankfully, God's transformation and restorative powers are perfect, unlike "all the King's men" in the Humpty Dumpty scenario. Thank you for allowing God to do his work in my life.
Gratitude, peace, fun, laughter, and joy are in short supply in the Valley of Perpetual Victimhood. As the Holy Spirt continues to teach me silence and satisfaction taking pictures of birds, please pray for me every time you see one of my bird photos. Just a quick prayer like, "Jesus, please help Keith simply enjoy the birds and be thankful." I am sure that prayer will be heard and may even transition to other parts of my heart, spirit, and soul.
God created us to do good works and he's promised to finish the work that he's started within us. I trust him with that work. Thank you for the grace, love, and encouragement you have shown and shared as he completes his work within me.
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