Remedial Bachelorhood

Without Karen, the past twenty-two days have been tougher than I imagined they would be. When I dropped her off at Sacramento Airport it was like half my brain and half my heart had tickets to Coshocton, too.

This is the longest we've been separated in the 5 1/2 years we've been married and the crash course in remedial bachelorhood has been a challenge. I haven't had to do any real grocery shopping, laundry washing, daily errand running, or house cleaning since our marriage as Karen is such a gifted homemaker and manager. She does it all and does it all well. My gifts are in other areas.

As I wandered the supermarket aisles with a little hand basket, shopping for groceries slowly came back to me: hot dogs, corn chips, salsa, mustard, Tabasco, Dr. Pepper, M&Ms, and ice cream. It's a short list, but a good list, and it covers all the important food groups.

My answer to cleaning the house was to to my best to not get anything dirty--I would simply live "clean."

As far as laundry, I'd rather just go buy clean clothes than wash dirty ones but before she left, Karen explained that that wasn't an option. That meant I'd need to actually figure out the washer/dryer combo. Four weeks is just too long to keep clothes fresh without a bit of help. So there I was in the laundry room trying to remember water temperature ratios, analyzing color combos, selecting spin cycles, figuring soap dilution formulas, and deciphering cryptic measuring cup marks when I realize how huge the washer tub was. It was so huge I could do all my laundry in one load. It all fit! That meant I didn't need to separate a thing. It was full-speed ahead from that point forward. Cold/Cold water, add a cup of detergent, stuff the clothes in, select "Large" load, twist the dial to a ten minute wash, pull the control knob, and stand back.

I mean what's the worst that could happen?